Anxiety manifests in many ways, impacting our thoughts, feelings, body sensations and behaviours. You may notice thoughts or beliefs about yourself that are familiar, such as ‘I don’t fit in’, ‘I’m too much’, ‘I’m not good enough’. You may notice ideas you hold about the world, for example, ‘it’s not safe’, ‘things are likely to go wrong’, ‘people can’t be trusted’. You may notice situations that trigger unease, nervousness or panic. You may notice that you get hot or cold, your heart races, you feel jumpy and on edge, or you may shutdown and feel numb. You might find that these lead you to adapt what you do – you might avoid situations, limit what you do, or have ways of coping that you wish you didn’t rely on – using alcohol or substances, for instance.
With integrative psychotherapy we can work on anxiety at depth. Rather than simply identifying thoughts as ‘unhelpful’ and trying to change them or dispel them, in a warm and non-judgmental environment, we can look at your history and make sense of the roots of your anxiety, the early experiences and relationships that have influenced your beliefs, your outlook, the learning and conditioning that have resulted in your responses now. This can lead to a deeper understanding and processing of the distressing experiences and underlying fears that have led to your current patterns.
We can look at the thoughts and beliefs that arise, meeting them with compassion and understanding – at some point, these will have developed with the intention of protecting you. For example, you may have learnt to inhibit yourself to avoid unwanted attention that in the past led to deep distress. The thoughts that inhibit you (such as ‘I’m too much’) may have stuck, though the unwanted attention or critical responses no longer happen. By continuing to believe ‘I’m too much’ you won’t risk receiving the criticisms again, but you will be left with a diminished sense of yourself and a limited life. By understanding where these thoughts came from and gently challenging them, they will lose their power.
We can also hone your ability to notice and tend to your bodily responses – sometimes you may be able to soothe some of your body’s anxious responses, for example, through breath work, muscle relaxation, grounding techniques, visualisations or inner dialogue. You may also learn to build your capacity to tolerate the sensations, and notice that they will dissipate, they never last forever and through this you may notice that they loosen their grip on you.
We can explore your sense of who you are, what your values are, how you want to live your life and what gives your life it’s own, unique meaning. By gradually shifting focus, giving more attention to what’s important to you, your goals, ambition and your ideals of how to live life, you can begin to engage in the longed-for life that you want to be living, despite anxiety. And as your life fills up this way, you will in fact notice that the anxiety recedes and you will move from surviving to thriving.
Helen Frost Psychotherapy 